As a certified personal trainer, who has now been in the industry for several years, it’s become apparent to me that the messaging from our industry (myself included until now)  has not truly taken the time to share with you insights that can help you create lasting + transformative change in your lives. 

With clickbait articles that endorse perky butts, tone abs, and skinny arms in 2 weeks, 30 days etc., it's disheartening to see you navigate your every move without a fundamental home-base and understanding that holistic health is something we can practice for life. 

Imagine a world in which we use fitness, health, and wellness to harness informed understanding around trauma, brain health, strength, mobility, flexibility, body confidence, disease prevention, friendship, and yes, weight management.

I wanted to take this moment to share with you several ground floor truths that have not only changed my life, but have exponentially helped my clients. When adopted daily, they can become anchors for us to truly face ourselves on an emotional & social level that can aid in honest and sustainable transformation.

Nothing Will Happen Quickly, But Anything Can Happen 

That’s the truth. It can be frustrating to hear this. Anything that gives you finite timeframes for results must be questioned. Not because programming, meal programs, or health practices can’t yield results, but more importantly, it requires that we acknowledge it only works if we do. 

We all start from unique places within our bodies, minds, and spirits. The work takes as long as it needs to in order to resonate, but it’s absolutely necessary for you to continue to do it and feel challenged in the process.

Information must be received and applied consistently. Our shifts are not only physical but also emotional and mental. My greatest transformations have been the way that I FEEL & THINK first, followed quickly by the way that I look. 

Our “work” isn’t to obsess over what we are eating or every exercise we choose to participate in. It’s in the holistic approach. 

• What are we doing most of the time?

• What are we thinking most of the time?

• How aware are we most of the time?

• How often are we proactively making choices that support our long-term intentions & stress management?
  

It’s not what we occasionally do, but what we choose to frequently do that will help us achieve progress in our careers, relationships, health, friendships, spirituality, and finances, etc. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be days in which we will self-sabotage, procrastinate, deny, lose focus, or not uphold our environment & boundaries - the kind of activity that happens when we feel triggered on our journeys.

When we confront the emotions that make us feel scared, nervous, uncomfortable, or avoidant, we quickly recognize that we’re no longer showing up, and concisely, we begin to bring our awareness to our behaviors, connecting us to the systems that will support us in those moments.

Can we QUICKLY recognize when we are:

• on our phones too frequently?

• neglecting our sleep?

• ordering takeout more than we are cooking?

• not taking pauses to get still and meditate, journal, or do breath work (like the 4-7-8 count kind of breath work)?

• haven’t been sweating or using movement in our lives?

• feeling overwhelmed because we are putting too many things on our “to-do” list?

• avoiding important conversations?
  

This conscious awareness helps us promptly find our way back to shore and invites us to step back into our presence. 

“You didn’t make those choices because you failed, you made them because, at that moment, it’s what you thought you wanted. So, be kind to yourself.”

You Didn’t ‘Fall’ Off, You’re Just Human

“But, I missed my workout yesterday.” 

“I was so good with my workout, but then, I had a burger and fries for lunch!”

“I didn’t fill out my accountability sheets last night,” etc.

So frequently, people fall into a guilt, shame, and a punishment cycle. You might feel like your whole “plan” has gone wrong or that maybe you failed because you didn’t honor the big vision. When we start to say words like “I’m only going to” or “I deserve this because I”, anything that implies we have been “GOOD” or “BAD”, it highlights that we’re thinking in a reward-and-punishment framework. 

You didn’t make those choices because you failed, you made them because at that moment, it’s what you thought you wanted. So, be kind to yourself. Reflect. Get still. You made the choice! Now, it’s time to reflect and move on. Life is about us finding what brings us long-term joy. When we pause, we can start to explore what we want AND what we NEED. This takes time and should be fun, as you start to become in-tune with what you need long-term. 

There will be days where you will not feel motivated. There will be days where you will want to quit. That’s OKAY! It means that you’re human. We are diverse, layered, multi-faceted people who crave versatility and variety.

Reflect and see if you can intentionally show up - body, mind, and spirit. 80% of the time, you can make nutrient-dense led choices and the other 20%, less nutritious all while holding grace for yourselves. If you can keep that close to your heart, then you can look forward to honoring your systems because those systems will become the things that help you feel great!

We Worry About Shrinking. Can We Invite Expansion? 

For many of us, women especially, we have spent our entire lives trying to take up less space. We want to know all the tips and tricks to help us shrink - tighter arms, smaller legs, tiny stomachs, etc. This doesn’t just affect our bodies, but shows up in other areas in our lives.

Our shoulders may roll in, our jaw clenches up, our fists in tight balls - all things that reflect shrinking. Opening up our attention to this allows us to make new choices and to focus on living a life in and with purpose. And with this in mind, we can watch as our bodies begin to support the change we are going to create within ourselves and the world. 

“When we spend every waking moment of our lives thinking about how we can become the skinniest, smallest version of ourselves, we rob ourselves of stepping into a greater calling.”

YOU are an expansive person. No one sees the world as you do and when we start to cherish the opportunity to expansively feel, think, and move, we begin to embody confidence, creativity, and community. Ask ourselves and think about how these questions can help us when feeling stuck:

• Where, why, and how am I playing small? 

• What can I do today, in this moment, to step into and create infinite space for myself and those around me? 

Social Comparison Isn’t The Problem, Your Reaction To It Is 

Oftentimes, when talking with my clients, I notice people get upset when their underlying layers get peeled back. They tend to take the focus off themselves and start comparing their process, bodies, and experiences to someone else. 

I’ve personally witnessed clients unknowingly shed tears because they were triggered comparing themselves to someone else.

“My friends and I were together and Ashley & Dom were so much tinier than me. I hate my body.”

Moving through our conversations, I discover they actually don’t hate their bodies. They just didn’t realize they were comparing themselves (to what they thought they were supposed to look like). They didn’t understand their participation in this downward social comparison. Honestly, comparison is inevitable. In fact, it can be a tool to help us stay accountable and get inspired! However, when your reaction to your comparison becomes debilitating, that’s when it gets counterproductive.

From a very young age, we are rewarded and reinforced by “ideal” beauty standards - fair skin, long hair, thin frame, etc. We don’t realize that our bodies were uniquely designed from our unique heritage and culture. People will compare. We are humans, that’s what we do from a very primal state. What I found to be a missing component of that equation is that we compare our results and never stop to see if it was, in fact, the processes of others that we were envious of. 

“No two people have the same obstacles, stories, or genetics.”

Whenever I notice that I find myself getting distracted with another person’s body, I immediately compliment the behavioral characteristics that I associate with their body. This profound shift helped me understand what I’m really hoping to connect to within myself. I stopped asking myself not to compare, knowing that it was a natural instinct, and instead, started to get granular about what I was really inspired by.

In that moment, I recognize that I’m really drawn to someone’s commitment, their ability to create strategies to help them follow through, how they navigate adversity, and their willingness to participate in consistency. I’m drawn to the determination of one facing their own trauma, obstacles, and shortcomings to show up anyway they can. Those are what I’m really inspired by.

This shift in perspective will shorten the amount of time that we neglect our specific needs. From this perspective is how we harness our presence. It fosters our sense of community because we can compliment another person without fearing that it will diminish our self-worth. This practice allows us to bring forward and highlight necessary characteristics for evolution and get back to showing up for the simple systems that allow us to progress in life. 

I hope you revisit these ground floor principals as you navigate your own journey. They are greater reminders to constantly be.

If you need additional support with mindset, movement, or meals, I have created the FOUNDATIONS e.book which includes accountability sheets, workout structures, grocery lists, and invaluable principles that have helped me change my relationship with my body, food and movement. Shop my FOUNDATIONS e.book here.

Did you find this piece insightful? Your feedback will be incredibly helpful in helping us share what can best support you on your journey. Share your comments below.

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